I think recently that people believe that I am cold hearted and can not love due to the fact I am asexual.
It's not more that I can't it's more the fact that I am scared to love because I know what it can do to people and the ruin it can bring even though it is supposed to be a positive experience.
I don't know, maybe to be alone is what my purpose in life is to be.
Asexual awareness week ended yesterday and I just wanted to say a few things about how connected and open everyone was to us on social media sights such as tumblr.
Seeing so many non asexuals reblog posts to spread awareness was amazing and I would like to thank everyone who made funny posts like "they can see you now" which were also great and got a lot of reblogs.
So, I am sorry I didn't post in the last two days.
1) I forgot yesterday... Sorry.
2) Friday I was away in Portsmouth with my family.
But thank you internet for making aaw 🍰 so awesome.
(P.s. Trending topic on tumblr 😁)
I hope you can read this.
I need to talk to you about something but to be honest I don't really know how to word it.
For about a year and a half now I haven't really felt myself to be honest with you.
The thing I am here to talk to you about is... Drum role... MY SEXUALITY!
1) No, I am not gay.
2) No, I don't believe myself to be a male in a female body.
What I have to say is that I am asexual.
Asexual- a person who does not experience sexual attraction in any form of the subject.
This is the point at which you (may) think I am "too" young to know this. Well, I don't believe I am.
I haven felt depressed for two years now but this feeling of unease have been here for about three.
Tumblr really introduced me to asexuality. It taught me about different sexualitys and how others feel the way I am feeling.
We are a sexuality many don't believe in. Less than 1% of the population in the UK is asexual and now I am included in this percentage.
I knew my emotions and I saw this word and thought... Google it. So I did and I ended up ticking off all the boxes.
It took me three weeks to fully understand this idea but I did.
I was asexual.
I am not shallow nor cold hearted or sad nor saying this because I am trying to be a "rebellious" teenager.
I am saying this because this is what I truly believe. Maybe one day I will love someone and then feel attracted to them but until then I won't really know.
For now, I have placed myself as a boarder line asexual and boarder line demi-sexual.
And that's okay!
I am not broken or lost. I am healthy and normal just not great at expressing love in the normal, conform of society's rules.
I love you.
Don't cry, please.
Equally, don't be angry.
Talk to you soon... Probably.
So, I bought this book of Amazon.com a few days ago and last night I started to read it. It was so good that I decided to start and annotate the book for future references.
It is totally worth the buy and gives you a very detailed and simplified overall look into an asexuals life.
If you are new to asexuality it is a good starting point and even if you are like me and you think you know everything it is still nice to read other people's experiences.
I bought a bow from dexlar on etsy.com and it is honestly the nicest thing in the whole world!
It came just in time for asexual awareness week (26th-2nd November) and it had a lovely message that read:
Thank you for your order and Happy asexual awareness week! <3
(Maybe you guys should go buy one 😉)
So I just told my dad I was asexual and he was really positive about it 😊 it was coming out day yesterday I believe and it was a very positive experience so if you need advice I am always here to talk to you 👍
I don't feel like I am fully understood by people. The evidence to support this is the fact that I always have to explain myself when they talk about love and to be honest it is rather annoying.
For instant, the other day there was yet another wisper going around that there was something going on between me and a boy and I ended up walking around and looking at people (who are my friends) and going "Really?"
One of my friends fully understands me as he is in a similar (but not the same) situation and another gets me to but isn't too great to talk to about this. The third tries to understand me and defend my views but ends up messing up his own views and then goes and blames his stutter.
I guess I shouldn't complain since I have supportive friends but I can't help but think some of them believe it is a joke and don't take it seriously.
Maybe it is just me being paranoid but I try honestly to be normal but I'm not so should I have to feel like I need to change who I am to fit in?
Okay, so I have now found out and installed this nifty little app that allows me to publish pages from my iPad *yay* so now I can get easy access to the web page for you guys.
Due to this I have decided that EVERY Friday I will post a new discussion topic onto my web page.
Today's discussion: Asexual problems?
Now, I don't know about you guys but by being even Demi-sexual I end up running head first into problems in life.
Anyone else get this or is it just me?
I have just found this article from the Huffington post about people discriminating against asexual peoples beliefs and ideas and to be honest the article is horrific.
I do not understand how people can feel that they can get away with saying things like that in a modern society. We live in a multi-cultural and diverse country where we try to embrace and help differences between sets of people even if it is race or sexuality.
Admittedly, this country doesn't do its best on some areas but we are improving but this is unacceptable and I thought I would share so you can read this to.
AVEN is a great website for finding out or wanting to spread experience on asexuality and I highly recommend you go check it out.
The people on the website are friendly and helpful and to sigh up is easy.
If you have an AVEN account my username is: holiviabr
Just add me as a friend and I will be more than happy to help you out.
My parents don't know I am asexual and they are bound to ask why I have this on my arm.
I am not sure if I should cover it or not.
I feel as though I need to just because my parents will say "oh it's because you don't have a boyfriend" but then I am also feeling like they will say that I am just going through teenage hormones.
Well it is too late now but whatever happens, I don't care anymore.
I am asexual and if my mother doesn't agree then she can bugger off.
Sorry, mini rant over.
I am not sure if you knew this already but on the 25th of August a National existence day is taking place for;
The thought is to write the words ''we exist'' on our arms and take photos to reblog with #wearerealproject
I am taking part because I think it will be interesting to see how many people do decide to do this and to see how many people out there are having a hard time being heard.